But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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