im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
