I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
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I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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