I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize