oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
