omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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