I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize