My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize