you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize