I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
