We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
