I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
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