I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
