I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.