Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
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you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.