I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?