Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen