So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize