I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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