do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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