in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
