I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
