sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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