You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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