I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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