Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
