plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize