I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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