The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
