im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
