You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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