Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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