We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
