but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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