a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.