toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
