Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
