Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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