You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize