We won't sleep together?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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