Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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