I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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