Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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