Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
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My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
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I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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