So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
