no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
