did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize