I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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