Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
