bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
People in love make me want to vomit
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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