He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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