The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
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No I am not eating basil off your cock
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
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THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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