Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize