Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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